Relationships:
The Perfect Medium for Evolving the Soul

So, how do you develop a relationship on purpose? "It starts by having your relationship be more conscious and intentional and less reactive," says Shea. This includes removing all danger from the relationship, ending criticism, and eliminating 'unplanned' fighting.'"

It's also about realizing that we connect with the perfect partner to assure our soul's further growth and development. That it really is true that 'opposites attract,' and this is part of the divine plan for our souls evolving nature.

"We start off in romantic love," observes Shea, "but romantic love is nature's con for making babies. It's not meant to last. It's only a signpost pointing us in the direction of a real love, a vintage love. When the scales fall from our eyes and we see who is really there, we realize we're with somebody with whom we're incompatible, with somebody who can't meet important needs that we have. We're with somebody who drives us crazy."

Thus we enter a power struggle, which is in essence actually a growth struggle (think of it like the struggle a caterpillar makes as it transform into a butterfly). We then realize that incompatibility is the norm. In fact, we're supposed to be incompatible. That's the chemistry for the growth and evolution of our soul. By stretching to meet the needs of our partners, we grow, we develop, we heal.